General
Apology
Dear Professor Schwartz, I apologize for disrespecting you in class. I was out of line, and I shouldn’t have given you the finger or told you to go fuck yourself. It was wrong of me to be so honest about how I felt. My feelings haven’t changed, but Dr. Evans said a written apology would be a good idea, what with you threatening to get me kicked out of school and all.
By Harper Lewisabout 7 hours ago in Humor
DATING APPS – THE USED CAR LOT OF LOVE (NOW WITH MORE MILEAGE AND LESS HOPE)
WELCOME TO THE DIGITAL AUTO MALL OF DESPAIR Welcome to modern romance, where love is no longer found in smoky bars or awkward setups from your aunt. It’s parked on a virtual lot next to a thousand other vehicles, all shouting: “Low mileage! Great paint job! Serious inquiries only!”
By The Pompous Postabout 9 hours ago in Humor
A Formal Apology, Offered in Good Faith and Roughly Chronological Order
To Whom It May Concern (and you all concern me, deeply, which is part of the problem): I want to begin by saying that I am sorry. Genuinely. From the bottom of whatever is left of my heart after this week, which, and I want to be transparent about this, was not entirely my fault, though I acknowledge that the parts that were my fault were significantly my fault.
By RC Adamsona day ago in Humor
The Housing Market is on Fire... Literally. Rent Comes with Free Marshmallows Now.
Welcome, You Brave Homeless Souls Congratulations, reader. If you’re viewing this newsletter, it means you can still afford Wi-Fi… Cherish that… Because according to Zillow, the average rent for a one-bedroom apartment is now an arm and a leg, one functioning kidney, a vial of dragon’s blood, and three Funko Pops from 2018.
By The Pompous Post3 days ago in Humor
Sorry About The Goldfish
I’d like to begin with a simple apology... I’m sorry about the goldfish. I know it was your daughter’s favorite. And I understand that, from your perspective, there was no reason for it to be anywhere near the office microwave. In my defense, I didn’t think it would fit, which is why I only tried it for a second!
By Kaliyah Myers5 days ago in Humor
The Miss Gloria Hour: Is Taylor Swift Really Her Guest This Week?
“Trixie! What’s going on? Why are you calling me at three in the morning? I’ve gotta be up early. We have a big day.” “I am so sorry, Jason. I just received a phone call from Debbie. She's at Cedar Sinai. She tried calling you twice but you didn’t answer. She left you a few voicemails. Gloria is in the hospital.”
By Rick Henry Christopher 6 days ago in Humor
The Grumpy Old Men are back: Easter Bah!
Marty and Steve are two grumpy old men who live together. They have known each other for years. Marty is very religious, which may have contributed to his never marrying. Steve has no time for religion. Steve loves to take “the mickey out” of Marty at every opportunity. Easter is no exception.
By Calvin London7 days ago in Humor
Duct Tape, Bubble Gum, and Baling Wire: The Poor Man’s Welding Torch
They say necessity is the mother of invention. But out here in the real world, it’s more like duct tape, bubble gum, and baling wire are the unholy trinity of emergency repair… and she is one tough mama.
By The Pompous Post7 days ago in Humor
It Began As A Mistake
Welp, crap. I guess I should say sorry for that, and of course, I am, well, mostly. I mean, it really wasn't like you didn't expect someone to, well, you know, and I don't know, I just couldn't help myself. You know, it might bring you some comfort in knowing that it was me and not some random stranger that did it. In that case, you're welcome, seriously sweetie, it was my pleasure.
By Kelli Sheckler-Amsden7 days ago in Humor
