š»The Drunken Tongueš„
One too many... Written for the Lana V. Lynx unofficial challenge, 'Fucked-up wedding Toasts'. Word limit: 75-150
Okay, my turn!
Iām Heidiās currently drunk uncle Denny. And I āhckā, want to make a toast too. Hooray!
...Heidi, I love you, man.
Even if you were the frisky one, sneaking out at night to hang out with a āhck', bunch of horny boys, youāll always be my favorite niece.
And remember that time I bailed you out of jail for shoplifting? That will 'hck', always be our secret....
And look at the man she just bagged! I'm not a gay or nothin, but cāmon! Iād āhckā, marry him too, haha. I donāt even care that he's Asian. Just wait till you see the geniuses Heidi spits out. Asians are āhckā, smarrrrt people...
Cheers to you Heidi and uh... Ju-ang, Ju-ang-yen? Can't I just call you Fred?
Anyway, love you both, man...
Is it me, or is it 'hck', gettin dizzy in hereā¦
***
(144 words)
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About the Creator
Lamar Wiggins
Creative writer in the Northeast US who loves the paranormal, mystery, true crime, horror, humor, fantasy and poetry.
"Life is Love Experienced" -LW
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Comments (13)
OMG you nailed it, slurs and all. Hilarious. Iām laughing š¤£
hahaha, hck. That weird uncle vibe for sure. great entry, of course
Haha love the āhckā. You captured the creepy drunk uncle perfectly!
Ooof. Thatās brutal. The level of embarrassment I would feel to even be in that room. Nicely done Lamar
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That felt soooo uncomfortable hahahahaha! No one should invite him anywhere anymore, lol
šš short and funny, love it. the idea its āfunnyā to be brutally honest about the most inappropriate things is definitely a trait that runs in alcoholic families, one of which I am slightly a part ofš«
š¤£š¤£ love this!
I can feel the cringing of every character thatās not even on the page. Great job!
Yep, you get the prize....been to a few - have ya.
"Ju-ang-yen? Can't I just call you Fred?" This just had me on the floor. Great toast, Lamar!
Hahahaha love this, Lamar. Sounds like the alcohol soaked gibberings of "that uncle" that always seems to be at weddings. Nice work, bud.
I love how terrible all the people are in these in the most subtle and overt ways. Great entry