Are You Feeling Valued?

How are you feeling right now about your life? How's your career going? How's your personal life?

A lot of questions, I know, but they should be easy to answer if everything is going great. Most people struggle to answer those questions because there's always something that we are unhappy with.

Do you feel that you have the right work / life balance?

Why, why not?

Are you working long hours and never see your family? Or, are you stuck at home looking after the kids or a sick relative without any breaks?

Forget about everything that's going on in the world right now, and think about yourself for a moment. 

We all know what's going on in the news because we can't avoid it. Heck, I try and ignore watching the news but the headlines keep following me wherever I go. 

In times of hardship, I take stock and look at my own life and those around me. 

How do you feel about your life right now? 

Are you valued for who you are in your career? Do you work with colleagues who appreciate you? Or, are you constantly fighting battles with stress and deadlines?Are those bills piling up again?

I've written about how traumatic stress is bad for you because it's constant, and you cannot run away from it. 

Normal day-to-day stress can be really bad for you too. You don't often see the silent changes that creep up on you here and there. It's not every day, but once in a while which become more, until they happen every single day. 

Yes, you might have a bad day, every single day.

Is that you? Or, are you headed there right now?

There's that colleague who's riding the boss at the detriment of everyone else. There's the office gossip bad mouthing anyone that puts a toe out of place. There's the colleagues who takes credit for your work because who gives a c**p about you - am I right? 

When did you last get promoted? How long have you worked in your job?

It's not okay to be treated badly at work.

If you don't feel valued at work, then stress will build up. Many people settle for jobs because they're an easy and reliable pay check. 

What's the cost to your mental health?

Too much.

I've got several friends who are in the middle of their careers and stuck in jobs they don't enjoy because they are afraid of change, or they can't change because of debt or mortgages. 

I've got friends who are amazing at what they do, but they haven't been promoted in years. Other people have in their place. They know it, and I know it. Yet here we are, stuck in the same role.

You're treading water and it's not fun anymore.

Are you truly valued in your career, or do you get ignored for that promotion? Or that business trip you spent weeks planning that someone else got to enjoy in your place?

The same thing goes for your personal life. 

Are you being valued for who you are at home? 

Is there a relative who demands too much of your time, but you cannot say no? Are your kids doing too much during the week and you spend all your evenings and weekends driving them places? Is your marriage still strong and happy?

Do you ever get any time for yourself?

I wrote about my friend a while ago who knocked on my door one night in tears because she couldn't take things anymore. She had been suffering from domestic violence for several years. I missed it because she got so good at lying to herself that everything was great that we all believed her.

Luckily, she knocked on my door and I helped her get away from her abusive husband with her twins. They are now safe and doing well, but she had to make that choice to change first.

Many people suffer every day in silence for whatever reasons. 

It's not okay. Life is too short.

Being undermined, taken for granted, and overlooked will cause you daily stress. This feeling builds until it becomes unbearable. 

Is your life worth being miserable every single day for a steady pay check, or an unhappy home life. Or is it time to put yourself first?

Never is a long time…

I say this to myself, and to my friends. If you spend your life being unhappy, then you will end up with regrets in your old age.

I don't want to grow old with regrets and say the words "I wish I had…" or "If only I had tried…" "I wish I had been brave enough to…"

Your life is precious. It matters that you are happy. What you do right now matters more than you think. Time only goes forward, not back. 

Change begins with you. 

What do you need to change to become happy in your life?

Having the right Work / Life Balance

Being happy and content in life is something we all strive for, but most of us aren't. In a perfect world, we'd have money, the perfect career, house, car - anything you could dream of. 

Having possessions doesn't make you happy. 

Balance does. 

When you balance your career with your home life in the right proportions, you will feel more content. You are living your life. 

Not only are you getting time to work and have a personal life, but you have the balance to be yourself too. 

Yes, it's great to have extra cash at the end of the month because it makes things a little easier. I know because when I started again at age eighteen, I had nothing apart from one suitcase. 

I know what it feels like to have almost no possessions. To not being able to afford to eat, pay rent and rely on others to take you places. It's hard to live in survival mode. 

I got myself out of poverty through sheer grit and determination. Working a day job and studying at night school. Working throughout my undergraduate degree.

Life is so much more than working or worrying about surviving all the time.

Balance holds the key.

Think about your work / life balance 

Where do you spend most of your time? 

Are you happy with this or is there a change that you can do to make things a little easier on yourself?

Here's what I did…

I decided a while ago that I needed more from life than being in the classroom. Don't get me wrong, I love teaching but I didn't get the same buzz that I used to get when I first started. 

School politics and colleagues pulling rank on what I should and shouldn't be doing was grating on me.

My writing has always been where I'm the happiest. I turned to my journaling and my short stories, and I noticed a change. My writing started to become more bitter and sad. 

I needed to change my life.

I decided publish my two memoirs: "The Sex-Offender's Daughter," and "Living with Complex PTSD." Then I published my "Cedar's Port" series because writing fiction made me happy. 

I wanted to share my perspective of living after trauma, with real people. I decided to put myself first.

Here's what happened when I claimed my work / life balance

I got an email out of the blue from the CPTSD Foundation inviting me to be a guest writer for people who struggle with Complex PTSD. I didn't know there was that kind of support for trauma survivors, and I started writing mental health articles for them. This developed into writing across several online platforms.

Stick to your guns…

When I tell people that I'm a writer, people look at me like I'm crazy and I get a sarcastic "Yeah, but what do you do for a living?" comment. 

Don't let anyone mock you for doing something that you love. Explain why you do what you do and share your experiences with people. I can guarantee that those same people will respect you more afterwards. If they don't, then they weren't real friends to begin with.

How will you make your work / life balance more effective after today? 

My name is Lizzy. I'm a trauma survivor, a wife, a mom, a teacher, and an author.

If you like reading my posts, then please follow me.

For more about me: www.elizabethwoodsauthor.com

Support your fellow writer:

https://ko-fi.com/elizabe69245484

Check out my other articles:

What kind of writer are you?

https://medium.com/restless-quills/what-kind-of-writer-are-you-194075bd06f7

Writing a Master's Thesis

https://medium.com/pen-with-paper/writing-a-masters-thesis-9b62d1baff9c

A Feeling Like No Other

https://medium.com/illumination/a-feeling-like-no-other-b5409150829b

Lifeline narratives for those who feel unheard

https://medium.com/pen-with-paper/lifeline-narratives-for-those-who-feel-unheard-79ab003c087f