The Badge Gets You So Far, Too Far Takes The Badge

Lately, I am reminded of the 2008 quote from Harvey Dent in the movie The Dark Knight. I'm reminded of that quote for a reason. I lived my professions simpler version of it, and escaped. 

"You either die a hero, or you live long enough to see yourself become the villain." 

 - Aaron Eckhart/Havey Dent, The Dark Knight, 2008

For a long time, from the 90s until the year 2000, I was a Sheriff's Deputy. I achieved the rank of sargent, not once, but twice. The first time, I was too young, and not as ready as I thought, so I admitted to that. But it was a good paying job, and I was able to raise a son by myself. 

Like any job or career, there are those of us that come up with something we get really good at doing. We develop skills and excel at aspects of what we do. Not all of those skills translated into the real world, the world without the badge and gun. 

Some, however, did translate and others translated partially into the next world. So, when I escaped, I walked away with leadership skills, crisis management skills, some tactical planning skills, and better typing and English skills than anyone can build in Freshman Comp at a college. But, I also had people skills, and those are invaluable. 

Leaving a career like that is something you always wonder about, particularly if you leave a place due to burn out, being exhausted, and generally hating what you do. It was a place I'd been at for more than a few months, and I wasn't bouncing back. 

Now, I look at what happened to others who didn't escape and find something new fast enough. 

One, my former division head, is now facing a felony trial for stealing in excess of six figures from the department and county in which we worked. Over $100,000.00 dollars, by someone carrying the same badge I once carried. The whys of it all will no doubt come out in the trial, unless there's a sweetheart deal. But, it makes you wonder where his superiors were when this was all going on. It's a fall from grace, and when officers turn to criminals, it's an unforgivable sin. 

Another, who was recently arrested, stands accused of one of the most heinous crimes imaginable. Where did he go wrong? When the young man first joined our division, I didn't particularly like him. But, over time, before I left the department, he'd grown on me and I respected him. So, to see that arrest in the papers, was a solemn reminder, of the fact you never really know what's going on inside someone's head. 

Over the time I wore a uniform, I saw many people from Law Enforcement end up doing time. From the first Sheriff to ever swear me in, to friends, subordinates, and members of other agencies, it kept happening over and over again. 

Law Enforcement, or public service, is done by human beings. And as such, that means deeply flawed, imperfect creatures. But, that's the reason we live in a world that is fillled with Chaos. Due to those deeply flawed and human creatures. 

I escaped with my soul intact, and got to see a different life for a while. Glad I did it.

As I look back, Law Enforcement turned into something uglier than it was supposed to be, and to those who dare to put on the badge and the uniform, I commend them. When the government turned anti-law enforcement, no longer had the back of the men and women doing the job, it all turned to shit.

Suddenly, it became louder, more violent, and more chaotic than it had been during the first decade. And whenever you expose yourself to a non-stop amount of chaos and violence, eventually, you start to believe the hype. Then, you become the villain of the story. That's because, when it gets easy to unleash violence, or rather too easy, whether you've won most your fights until someone takes your head off, or went undefeated, it changes you.